One Day, One Hour, One Minute at a Time

"One day at a time—this is enough. Do not look back and grieve over the past, for it is gone; and do not be troubled about the future, for it has not yet come. Live in the present, and make it so beautiful that it will be worth remembering." ~ Ida Scott Taylor

     Before you know it, our life on this earth will be over just as quick as it began. Now, what if this article ended right here? Wouldn't you feel short-changed? That's the same way your soul feels ... short-changed each time you focus all your energy on the past or future. Your soul screams, "What about today?! What about now?! Isn't there more for me today?" What are you feeding your soul—this day, this hour, this very minute?

     Your body needs nutrients, but your soul needs daily nutrition, also. Perhaps your soul feels remorse, fear, and guilt over the past, so you consistently lament over all the woulda, coulda, shouldas and you never get fully over the past. Some people obsess over what no longer is ... the old side of "the days gone by" and mope over the past "what could have been." Their longing reminds me of the song, "I'm So Lonesome I Could Cry." "Hear that lonesome Whip-poor-will, he sounds too blue to fly."

        On the opposite end of the past,we have the future, "the squirrel who's just trying to get a nut," the person who's always in a hurry and focused on the future, i.g. the next appointment, future calendar events,etc.There is also the one who just doesn't think about today and is "tuned out" to what is happening around them "now" and only fantasizes about the future. And, don't forget the middle ground ... the person who's never satisfied with today. When today isn't good enough and tomorrow will always be better... but it happens daily.Or, the person who doesn't focus on the past, middle or future ... the "forget about today" kind of person. The one who's caught in a storm of overwhelming stress or responsibilities and is immobilized today. How many times have you said, "I wish I had done things differently?" You can't change the past (we hear that all the time), so "forget about it!" It's over! Chalk it up to "lessons learned" and move on. If you want to change something ... change today, because come tomorrow, this day will be the past. Move on and focus on what's before you ... a brand new day!         

    Our lives are not about yesterday or tomorrow, they're about today. There's nothing wrong with remembering fond memories—we all remember great times from the past. But, when you focus on negativity from the past, present goodness "now" has no room to step in. Why not continue to make more amazing memories at this very moment?! Today cannot be like the movie "Back to the Future" and we don't have a "flux capacitor" to take us back in time. Yes, that would be something if we could go back in time to right the wrongs of the past or physically go back to indulge in the fondness of great memories again, but we all know that's not going to happen! Our lives are not fictional movies—our lives are non-fiction reality. We have to be realists here. Have you ever heard about an unconscious person getting a slap in the face to wake them up?! Perhaps some of us are unconscious living beings while the day is passing right before us.

         Having any regrets about the past will only hold you back from today. When we focus on a sense of loss, disappointment, or distress over something that happened yesterday, we are taking precious moments away from accomplishing new changes today. For some people, even taking things one day at a time can feel like they're climbing a mountain. The work and thoughts of the day are too much, so they revert to thinking about anything else but the present moment. Before you know it, you're daydreaming about something that happened in the past or you're escaping into the future. In order to focus on today, think of the mountain as a small hill and just slow down, breathe, and focus. Sure, it may very well be a mountain, but don't focus on the top because you'll miss what's in the middle. And, if you spend too much time at the bottom looking up (into the future)you'll never reach the middle or the top because it will all seem too overwhelming!

     The view from the summit of any goal is an amazing view; there you have the full spectrum—the past, the middle, and the top. It's productive to have goals, but you don't have to lose site of the day at hand while you work on your target goal. Focus on what's before you in the moment and allow your work will produce results.

    We have to, no one else can or will do it for us. The future will come, trust me. Slow down and breath. Enjoy today, before the future is yourself looking out the window of a nursing home. Unfortunately, in those places there isn't much of a future or present—only the past. Enjoy the life you have now. So many elderly people only wish they could have the moments of today and to live in their youth again.

     Think about what your thoughts are each hour of the day, each minute of the day. What do you focus your energy on? What do you focus your precious time on? Do you focus on the past, the present, future, or all three? Why spend all your mental energy on the past when it's not changeable. Why spend all of your mental thoughts on the future when it's unpredictable? A helpful tool to stay focused on today is a "to-do list." Focus on one day at a time projects, little goals that are part of a bigger goal, and even include positive encouragement words to cross off; i.e., focus, positive, happy, energetic, determination, commitment, and so on. Cross it off as you accomplish that task for the day. If you didn't finish it, leave it on there for the next day... eventually you'll have a day where you can cross it off. And you can always add it back on the next day "to do" it again.

        They are goals to strive for and reach—positive words are never "failures." You do not fail if you did not succeed to cross off the word "happy" for that day. Stop being so hard on yourself!! As long as a word is on your "to do list" and not crossed off, it is and always will be attainable! A "to-do list" is a great visual tool to de-clutter your mind and free up mental energy to focus on the day in front of you and the task at hand. You will feel a sense of control and accomplishment as you cross off tasks. Take action with a "Just Do It" attitude and be YOUR change for today. One day, one hour, one minute at a time. Enjoy the"now", enjoy today!

"One of the greatest evils of the day among those outside or prison is their sense of futility, young people say, what is the sense of our small effort? They cannot see that we must lay one brick at a time, take one step at a time; we can be responsible only for the one action of the present moment."
~ Dorothy Bay

A Woman's Face in the Mirror

"For beauty, there's nothing quite like a woman who's beautiful and doesn't 'know it.'"
~Anonymous

    For years, low self-esteem, meager self-worth, and poor body image have long been key factors that have kept women walking on their knees. For years, we as women have been our own worst enemy. We criticize, chastise, and demean ourselves to the very core of our being while we stare at ourselves in the mirror. We allow not only others, but ourselves to lower our standards of self-value. Regardless of what society, television, or magazines are doing, we have the ultimate opinion of how we will live. The challenge is to convince ourselves that we are enough every time we look at our face in the mirror.

    Each and every one of us possesses an inner presence of unique qualities that not one single person can duplicate. We each have a soul print like no other being—a distinctive spirit that emanates within each of us. There is no single fingerprint alike in any individual and that signifies our individuality to ourselves. We do not owe an explanation to anyone else as to why our life print is different from their footprint. We torment ourselves with image either because we want to look like someone else or we feel that society expects a certain image. Carbon copies get boring. Imagine if everyone had the same hair color, clothes, body shape, and face! Then we would all be wishing we were different! We owe it to ourselves to honor our image as having distinction.

   
    Many of us spend the majority of our time observing other women; envious and wondering why certain women seem to be gliding on their feet, while we feel like we're walking on our knees. The challenge is to focus on ourselves, not on other women. It's okay to admire and compliment, but we must not envy. Some women may appear to be confident, but may have insecurity issues, as well. The same women we look at are also looking at us, and it is important that we keep clear perception on ourselves. Women who are gliding, are gliding because they focus on themselves. They don't worry about convincing someone else that they are good enough. They know they are enough and don't need another's opinion. Is it that important to have someone else tell us the line on the palm of our hand should have been longer or shorter? It doesn't matter, everyone's palm print is supposed to be different! Someone else is always going to have an opinion, but we must understand, that it is their opinion.         

    The challenge is to convince ourselves that we're good enough and that we're not inadequate. Challenges are always difficult, they involve risks and courage. It's important to prove our identity to ourselves, our fingerprints or the lines on our hands are the way they are for a reason... identity. If the way you are handling your self-worth is not working, than you must use a new way and do the opposite. It will be hard at first to conform your mind to a new way of thinking, but it can be done with commitment and consistent affirmations. Just like an alcoholic or drug addict learns post recovery, they will always be a recovering addict and will have to work hard at sobriety the rest of their life.  A successful recovery is adapting and applying newly learned life skills to lead a healthy lifestyle. For women who are challenged with low self-esteem issues, it is a daily process of hard work to be self-confident. The most important step is to stop the negative self-talk and to quit worrying about what other people think of us.

Stop Negative Self-Talk

    As women, we unfortunately face criticism from other women. For many women, it is difficult to feel "less than" another woman. There are women who will criticize, judge, bully, and make fun of us, but we must know that we have value. We must remember, that these women who bully, do it because they feel inadequate about themselves. It is critical to realize that they are not a part of our lives. They are not a part of our core. They do not live in our soul. For example, would you allow a bully into your house if they rang the doorbell? Then why would you allow them to enter your spiritual being or affect your mind? We do have control. We do have command over our self-esteem, self-worth, and value. There are people who we simply need to ignore... the "haters." There are haters because they themselves are miserable and take their misery out on others. They want other people to feel just as miserable as they do and it makes them feel better about themselves when they put others down. Under non-admittance, haters really feel very inadequate. So, don't open the door when the haters ring the doorbell. Just like a solicitor, they will be persistent. They will keep ringing the bell wanting you to answer. But you do have control and when you don't answer, they will go away.         

    Believing in ourselves that we are worthy (to the very core of our being), that's the challenge. Any person or animal in this world just wants to be validated, accepted, and loved. Unfortunately, not everyone is going to be kind to an animal or human being. We must find positive direction and surround ourselves with the people who are kind and positive. We all deserve to be loved. Challenges and setbacks happen to every single one of us- every day. We all have sordid tales to tell about our different, difficult or dysfunctional pasts, and we may still have issues, but we must remember that we cannot get to the top of any mountain without blood, sweat, and tears.

   
    We all have the potential to be confident and educated women. What are we going to do with the knowledge that lies within us that is desperately waiting to break free ... our purpose? No one wants to be weighed down with self-esteem issues. And, no one wants to be around someone who enjoys having daily pity parties. When will we as women finally stop struggling with our heads barely above water? When will we say enough is enough? There is a famous quote that says, "Either ____ or get off the pot." If we don't like the way our life is going, then we must do something about it. We must change it and define it because it's time to live.

    None of us have the same mind, none of us have the same body, none of us have the same fingerprints, and none of us have the same spirit. We're unique and different from one another. I will never be you and you will never be me. That difference is our worth. If there is something we cannot do, there is always something else we can do better. If there is something we want to do than we must educate ourselves, work hard, and then do it! Stop crying over spilled milk—get a towel and clean it up!

    Internal battles with low self-esteem can be devastating, but as long as we keep feeding ourselves with negative affirmations—it's the adverse that will survive. How can anything positive have a chance to squeeze into our minds! Why would we want to feed and water low self-worth and pessimism? Negative affirmations are like weeds, they grow out of control and take over valuable space in our minds and soul.

    Weeds are a nuisance to get rid of, but it is our job to take control and eliminate the negativity. Optimistic affirmations in our minds is like weed control fertilizer is for lawn care. As the positivity is released into our brains, the root core of our thinking is filled with favorable thoughts and depletes the pessimism. Positive affirmations promotes optimistic thinking and deprives a place for negative thoughts to grow. The stronger the positivity grows and takes up space, the less chance negativity will have to thrive. Positive affirmations should go hand-in-hand with our daily thoughts to avoid negativity to creep into our minds and spread like out-of-control, overgrown weeds. We must perform daily mind maintenance.It is our responsibility for what we feed ourselves. The great thing is that we don't have to spend a dime for positive affirmations like you would on lawn fertilizer!

    Only we have the power to change the course of our thoughts and our life. We owe it to ourselves. It's time to realize the qualities and potential that exist inside of us every time we look in the mirror. We must truly make an effort to gradually improve our worth and self-esteem. We must start by giving ourselves positive reinforcements. Like any other passion or challenge, positivity takes practice, hard work, determination, and commitment to achieve accomplishments. If we're not used to positivity, it can be uncomfortable while we begin our transformation. As time goes on though, we will begin to feel better and better about ourselves every day. We will come to an understanding that we don't have to fight ourselves any longer. We all need support and we know ourselves better than anyone else! We must look at our face in the mirror and look straight into our eyes and tell ourselves that we are going to start living!

    When we have a low day and feel our self-esteem is spinning downward, we must think of those who have it a lot worse than we do. We must think of people who have had the courage to overcome their own obstacles, such as: Helen Keller, Rosa Parks, Christopher Reeve, and the list goes on. Those people fought against their limitations of low self-esteem, disability, poverty, and poor body image issues. They didn't allow their restrictions to hold them back from doing greater things. Christopher Reeve often spoke of "Paralysis of the Soul" where their body works, but their soul is paralyzed.

    He never allowed his soul to be paralyzed, even though his body no longer worked. There was also the inspirational Helen Keller, who was blind and deaf since 19 months old. Helen Keller was a fighter," said Keller's grandniece, Keller Thompson-Johnson. "She didn't hide from her problems. She knew that to become a better person and to show other people that they too could overcome their disabilities, she had to be a fighter herself." Helen Keller once said, "Self-pity is our worst enemy and if we yield to it, we can never do anything good in the world."

    Through this article, it is important for any woman (who might be struggling with some of the above issues), to know that it's going to be alright. We all have challenges, but it is critical to work through them if we want to be at peace with ourselves. When we meet our maker at the end of this life, we can say we did everything in our power to live our life to the fullest and be there for other people who struggle. When we look at our face in the mirror, smile at her—she needs it. We are all strong women and our strength will bring us to our feet~ we all deserve to glide! We are all deserving women and we must stand tall with our heads held high. We are here on this earth for a reason. We must have faith in our strength and believe in the face in the mirror.

"Change your perception of yourself... and you'll change your life."

~Dr. Phil McGraw