Women Taking Care of Women

"I can trust my friends....  These people force me to examine myself,

encourage me to grow."  ~  Cher

    May 8, 2005 (on Mother's Day), my best friend of 15 years passed away unexpectedly of a Coronary Embolism... she was 42.  It's been months and now years, since she's passed... and not a day goes by that I don't think of her not being here anymore.  Since her passing, I've often asked myself, "What more could I have done to prevent her untimely death?"  The answer to that question can only be found amongst women... in women taking care of women.

My best friend (left)

 
    As women, we know what wonderful nurturers we are to our loved ones; especially to our girlfriends.  Through all the good times and tribulations we encounter in our lifetime... it is our girlfriends that we see, feel and hear during those times... right by our side or never far behind.

    I've had a lot of time to think about how positively other women affect our lives-  whether they're right next door or 3,000 miles away.  What an awesome support system women can be to each other!  My friend was very much a nurturing, loving and supportive girlfriend... she always had my back.

    During the two months prior to her passing, she was having problems with high blood pressure; taking prescription medication along with numerous trips to the doctor that brought no significant changes in lowering her blood pressure.  Her physician suggested that her health problems were more than just "stress related" and instructed her to have a cat scan.  My friend feared having the cat scan done because she was worried they would find something wrong with her and she would have to be admitted to the hospital.  To her that meant losing valuable work time she couldn't afford to miss.

    I often encouraged her to take care of her health first and foremost over the business.  I told her many times that the business would continue and survive with or without her there-  but she had business on her mind, even though her health was suffering.  As much as I admired her work ethics... today she is no longer here and the business continues on as it always has.

    Today, I still have many regrets that I should have pressed her harder to get that exam.  And as a "best friend," I feel partly responsible for her not being here anymore.  I feel I could have done more... somehow... some way.  I don't think either one of us ever dreamt that this would be the outcome of a missed cat scan.  Who knows what the outcome would have been had she had her exam... I've wondered about that many times.  I don't know much about all the medical lingo of what she went through, but one thing I do know for sure is that encouraging your friend to follow doctor's orders is KEY.

She hated having her picture taken, but allowed me this day to take a photo of her on my new phone.
This was the last time I saw her and the last picture taken of her by anyone before her passing. 

    Other important factors that are essential in women taking care of women is making sure she schedules her annual check-ups and exams.  Make sure she keeps her appointments, takes all her medications, and gets immediate attention if a problem arises.  It's best to nip it in the bud EARLY.  And, having a support system of friends is crucial to aiding and providing comfort in the fear and anxiety of health related problems.

    It seems that all of the above is a big responsibility and that each person should be responsible for their own health-  perhaps that is true to a certain extent-  BUT... everyone needs SUPPORT and encouragement, especially if they are afraid of the outcome of test results.  No one can force anyone to do anything they don't want to do- as we all know... but it is women taking care of women that can mean life or death.  Without our health, we are no good to our family, our career or anyone else.

    I understand that we all have busy schedules... but without your loved ones or girlfriends by your side... all you are left with is a "busy schedule."  It is not much of a consolation prize.  So whether it is your mother, daughter, co-worker, sister, grandmother, neighbor or other loved one-  women taking care of women is the best gift you can give to each other. 

    I have since had another friend going through serious health problems.  I am there.  And... if I can help one other person through this unfortunate lesson... I know my friend will be smiling down upon me.

"The best preservative to keep the mind on health is the faithful admonition of a friend." 

~  Francis Bacon, Sr.

Deanne P. Wells

Editor-in-Chief

South Texas Women's World Magazine